Battling a reoccurring eating disorder. Its so impossible to get out of the anorexic mind set. i look at food and i am physically afraid- how ridiculous! my heart beats really fast because all i can think about is how many calories are in it! oh god! its consuming me, i deal with it and then it comes back. iv never gotten to the point where iv become noticably worryingly thin. anorexia affects the mind aswell as the body. i eat- i feel guilty for eating- then i feel fat- and then disgusting. strange but this is my thought pattern. i have exams coming soon and i know that i hve 2 eat 2 keep my brain activity flowing. its hard 2 eat. i dont enjoy it, but i know i have 2 eat xxxx
